by Demi Prentiss
If you’ve stumbled and fallen, if your initial fervor and zeal have faded away, if you haven’t been true to your promise to love and serve God with your whole heart, if you’re keenly aware of your weakness, don’t be troubled. Don’t waste time wallowing in guilt and shame. Simply return, in repentance and faith, and offer yourself once again. There can be no doubt that God will welcome you with open arms. – Br. David Vryhof, SSJE
Looking at the history of the Israelites, the stories of Jesus’s disciples, and the church as we know it today, Br. David sees our fervent desire to grow as God’s people combined with our daily – perhaps hourly – need to turn around and renew our relationship with God.
Mirabai Starr, author and teacher, has offered a fresh translation of the work of Julian of Norwich, a 14th century English mystic. Julian is thought to be the first woman to write a book in English which has survived. Starr reminds us that Br. David’s understanding of our need to return to the heart of God is not new:
Julian informs us that the suffering we cause ourselves through our acts of greed and unconsciousness is the only punishment we endure. God, who is All-Love, is “incapable of wrath.” And so it is a complete waste of time, Julian realized, to wallow in guilt. The truly humble thing to do when we have stumbled is to hoist ourselves to our feet as swiftly as we can and rush into the arms of God where we will remember who we really are. [1]
There was a time in my life when I would have dismissed these thoughts as “cheap grace.” How could the journey of a holy life be so simple? Surely there had to be more to it – more effort, more toil and sweat. Not to mention more suffering and more cowering in fear of an angry God. Somehow the spiritual life ought to be more stressful and dramatic – shouldn’t it?
Sometimes, I think, we resist the truth that God, who is love, longs for that magnetic love to compel our return. Longs for humility and God’s grace to outweigh our pride and our stubbornness. Longs for us to practice persistence in surrender as the naturally-chosen life-giving path, back to the welcoming arms of our “prodigal father.” Our arrogant notion that the high drama of our suffering might persuade God to forgive us, though enthralling, is just not God’s way.
The story is told that, when asked what monks do all day in the monastery, the abbot answered, “We fall down and we get up, we fall down and we get up.” In the Beloved Community, “fallen” is not our spiritual home. God calls us to get up, and take the next step in grace.
[1] Mirabai Starr, introduction to Julian of Norwich – The Showings, xviii–xix. Quoted in Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations (Wed., Aug. 14, 2024)
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